i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we're making bets on your personal life
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
