i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
