i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
