I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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