I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My bed smells like the plague
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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