no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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