so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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