Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
