i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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