I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize