I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
