I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
