It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
