I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
