I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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