he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
