How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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