I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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