Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
