I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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