I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Four minutes until I can fart!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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