Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
