are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how do flat chested girls get laid?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
