I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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