I want to have your abortion
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
