they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize