My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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