Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She's the barista slut.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
