This is not my ceiling
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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