Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize