Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
