ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize