she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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