I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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