Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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