There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
