I wish I could punch you in the face.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize