Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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