She said her name was "party"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This is the high leading the old right now
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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