the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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