Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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