I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
