woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
