Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
