Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
