she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Success! We fucked roommates!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
