No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize