I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
