Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
