He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
