Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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