i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
