i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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