SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We had to coat check the pizza.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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