he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
