If i come over, it means nothing
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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