I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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