Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize