You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Randomize
