I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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