she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
