All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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