and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
