why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
